Into The Joy & Madness

heartinredemption:

This was a horrible fan fic and should have never gone any further than the fandom. Nothing about it was researched or based with any kind of care for the reader.

mrchristiangrey:

50shadesawful:

mrchristiangrey:

[Re-blogged stuff]

The thing is, it’s not just like, “these books are dangerous in a theoretical way” because they’re bad images but then, “oh, who looks at fiction books as how-to guides for BDSM?” It’s that they’re dangerous because I see actual, real life bad Doms who already exist echoed in Christian’s behavior. They behave exactly in this way. It’s bad enough that they basically own CollarMe, and tend to linger creepily around FetLife sending mass “On your knees slut, call me Master” messages to every submissive female they can find… (Nrgh.) Nor that they linger around the edges of munches, or go tourist at events and get all up in other people’s scenes uninvited. (Although those things are annoying.)

It’s that they’re also, often, especially if you look at the stuff that people like Kitty Stryker and Maggie Mayhem and others are writing about, they serious players in the community where trying to call them out can inspire the community-defense-mechanism that protects member-abusers to the detriment of victims. Usually over “don’t case drama.” (Most. Overused. Phrase. Ever.)

And even if they aren’t, there’s so much talk about how subs/bottoms have to “take precautions” and “be safe” and yadda yadda, but no where near as much about how, hey, it’s never the victim’s fault. Even when it’s BDSM. Even if it’s just, “I didn’t want you to use that toy on me.”

I am getting a lot of women in my DMs asking about the lifestyle and I’m frankly, terrified. These women are placing themselves at risk for all sorts of abuse. I’ve warned them on many occasions that their so called Dom in shining armor, is not a Dom. He’s an abuser. Unfortunately these women are delusional {Edward Cullen all grown up now} and have now made romantic, what they would have once called abuse. There should have been a warning given with the book. Please note this is a work of fiction and was written by a woman who knows nothing about BDSM, but just liked to masturbate to pictures of Robert Pattinson. All information provided in here, is bullshit, please disregard. My problem is this is people’s first introduction to BDSM and all they get to see is the psycho stalker aspect, which only casts us in a bad light.

It is all fun and games, until one of these women meets a “Master” online and is subsequently murdered by them. Wait for it, it’s a matter of time. Who is going to take responsibility for that? I know I’m roleplaying as Christian Grey, but I’m doing this in order to educate people on the realities of BDSM, not mislead people. <shakes my head> We could go on for days, and we probably will. Thank you for addressing this. I’ve been doing my best to paint a more accurate picture. I’m hoping more from the community speak out about this.